This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
