I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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