Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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