i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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