ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
