We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
