The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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