I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
