3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
