Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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