Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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