So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
