we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
