If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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