your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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