Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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