What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
