i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
