Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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