i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
