You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
