The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
