dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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