Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
my shit smells like andre
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
