too bad you live with your parents still
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
