i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
