But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
