Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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