I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
how do flat chested girls get laid?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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