It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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