there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
