Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you have to choose: penises or morals?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
