talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
