Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
