Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
