I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
