Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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