of course. lets lasso hookers.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
This baby is an asshole
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
