hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
