Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
