I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
