why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
