We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
