Buhtt sex?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
