You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
