Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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