dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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