I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Two words: nipple clamps
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