we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
