i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
