no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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