I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
