i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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