I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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